Now, I don't want you to think that this happens often but it seems to be increasingly related to knitting (see here
for the previous episode). This time it revolved around a similar theme - me being frustrated at her lack of confidence in her knitting ability, her not being positive enough about something I was interested in.
My aunt is ill. I decided it would be a grand idea if we (me, my mum, my sisters and my dad and brother if they're interested) knitted her a blanket. My mum said that was fine if I organised it* so off I trotted full of enthusiasm and ideas. Probably a little too much enthusiasm. I sat down at the computer to look for yarn and then with my trusty stitch guide to look for stitch patterns. I sketched an idea for the layout of the blanket, picked all the stitches I liked the look of and thought looked fun to knit, went back to the computer to search for rough estimates of yarn requirements, drafted a plan on excel, coloured it in, ordered the yarn, changed the colours to what were in stock, scanned in the stitch patterns from the book, emailed everything to my mum and sisters and BLAM. Instant smack down from my mum.
I got quite huffy with her. It was all over the internet which probably contributed to me feeling huffy. The huffy feeling continued after we had stopped messaging so then I phoned my sister. My big sister, who I knew wouldn't indulge me but I hoped would sympathise. She was quite keen on the knitting and the stitch patterns but couldn't view them on her computer, it being old and doddery. She wasn't having any of my whinging and after a lovely chat and being told off for being over sensitive (Moi? Never!
) I felt better and realised I too had some part to play in the situation and that my mother wasn't entirely at fault. In fact, perhaps I was more at fault than her.
I love stitch patterns. I love challenging myself with knitting. I get excited by lace and cables and entrelac and colourwork. I want to feel I'm stretching myself and I feel pleased at the end results. I fear not the knitting.
My mum loves to knit. She can knit bobbles and intarsia and jumpers and lace but mostly, she loves to knit. She doesn't constantly want to be taxed and I admit, neither do I. She doesn't desire to fight with cable needles to prove mastery of another stitch in the same way I do. So why do I keep trying to push her to be more like me? Shouldn't I let her find her own way? I feel like I'm encouraging her to feel more confident in her abilities but why is this important when she's having plenty of fun?
I also realise when she said I should organise the blanket* that I went too far. I didn't involve anyone else in the planning stages and then didn't explain myself when I emailed them. Organising it isn't the same as being a bully. Organising isn't an alternative to communicating. We're all going to talk about it at the weekend. I was ever so pleased when I received an email from my mum saying she had done some of her own stitch pattern research and had some ideas. I will let you all know how it pans out.
I ordered the yarn from Getknitted
. They were very helpful and the next day I received this
11 hanks of Blue Sky Alpaca Dyed Cotton
in Honeydew, Thistle, Shell, Orchid and Sky, and 2 balls of Rowan Calmer
in Vintage. I have a long list of things I want to knit my Aunt including Shedir
from Knitty. I've wanted to knit Shedir ever since I saw it, ever since I was challenged by the cables, ever since I heard of cabling without a cable needle, and ever since I heard of chemo caps and the realisation that I started knitting far too late to make one for my nan who died 18 months before that issue of Knitty was published.
This is the progree of Shedir
and here is the progress of the first panel of the blanket
See you all next week.*My mum denies all knowledge of saying I had to organise the blanket but then that's mothers for you.
Labels: Aunty's Blanket, Mum, Shedir, stash